Bullying Out of Control: It’s Time for a Bystander RevolutionJan 20 2010by Rick Phillips, Executive DirectorThere’s a growing virus spreading among our youth and I’m not talking about the H1N1 flu. Its name: “bystander-itis.” It’s a contagious virus that causes young people to lose their sense of compassion and shuts them down when they see an incident of intimidation or harassment. The symptoms are evidenced when bystanders look the other way, when they tell themselves and others: “don’t tell,” “mind your own business,” or “don’t get involved.” Reading the daily news, we can see the consequences of bystander-itis. Schools and communities are becoming less safe. Many children are reluctant to go to school because of the increase in bullying, intolerance, and violence. Learning is compromised by fear and the lack of a safe school climate and culture. What has happened to our communities? To the covenant of “I am my brother’s or sister’s keeper?” As a nation, we used to pride ourselves on having a strong and shared bond as neighbors who were committed to looking out for each other. We used to build barns together, build schools together, and watch over one another’s children. The changes in our technology have influenced the mores and practices in our world and we have become more insular in our communities. Many of us don’t know our neighbors and don’t live close to our extended families. These shifts affect our children, so we shouldn’t wonder why so many of them witness cruelty, harassment and bullying and do nothing about it. They are reflecting what they see, and we don’t do enough to inspire them to action. It is our responsibility to inoculate our children against bystander-itis. We need to wake up the courage of young people and support them in the belief that standing up for their peers is in their own best interest. We need to equip them with the communication skills to speak up and take action, safely and effectively. As adults, we know it’s one thing for us to tell a young bully: “Hey! That behavior is not appropriate!” But, there is greater impact if a young person says to his/her peer: “Hey, that’s not cool! C’mon, leave them alone!” We need to change the culture of our schools and encourage young people to reject the “norms of cruelty” and promote the “norms of courage and compassion.” We need to become a nation of “upstanders,” not bystanders. It’s time for a bystander revolution. 
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